Open Adoption: What Is It?

The short answer is that open adoption is a mutual choice between birthparents and adoptive parents to make an adoption plan for a child. Everyone meets each other, shares information, and agrees that they want to go forward together. There is also an understanding that the child will be aware from the start that he or she is adopted and know who his or her birthparents are. Ideally there will also be continued communication between everyone in the future.

The longer answer is that every open adoption is as unique as the people involved. Some adoptions involve lots of close contact through the years, others may not due to choice, geography, or circumstance. What works for some, may not work for others. While we can't speak for other families or for the birthparents who will hopefully choose us, we would like to share why we chose open adoption and our hopes for the future of this relationship.

We're open to adoption. Open Adoption, that is!

We learned about different types of adoption before we decided what was right for us. During this process we learned a lot about open adoption and found it to be the most suited to the openness we have with each other and that we would like for our family. Part of what we learned is that open adoption has positive benefits for everyone involved in the adoption triad (birthparents, adoptive parents, and child). It is particularly important for the adopted child, as he or she has immediate access to answers to questions that come up and the satisfaction and security of knowing his or her story.

We believe that you can never have too much love in your life. We often hear birthparents referred to as extended family, both in the learning we've done and some of the discussions we've had with families who have already adopted. We like this idea and we want our child to have the chance to grow up being loved by many people. Our hope is to build an ongoing relationship with our child's birthparents based on trust, honesty, and respect.

Many of the decisions that will be made are ones that we hope to make together with the birthparents who choose us. One of the most important things to decide is the type of contact we will have. We are very open to the possibilities. To us, photos and updates (emails, texts, and/or letters) are a given and we hope our child's birthparents will be receptive to receiving these. We are also open to visits and hope to decide together how much contact will be comfortable for everyone. Of course, life includes change and we understand that sometimes visits or even photos and updates may be too much. Please know that we are ok with that too. Our hearts will always be open to contact whenever it is comfortable.

We say "no" to the idea of closed adoption. It's not for us.

Sometimes we are asked about why we didn't choose another option such as international adoption or adoption through the county. These were options we considered, but we soon realized that in both the adoption would likely be closed. It seemed the chance of a future relationship with the birthparents was very unlikely. And in many cases it might not be possible for our child to even know who his or her birthparents were or anything about them. This isn't what we want for our child or for the people who bring him or her into the world. This is why we ultimately decided to work with Independent Adoption Center (IAC) to adopt our child. They are open adoption experts and provide resources for everyone in the adoption triad, including counselling for birthparents.

You can learn more about us on this blog, through our Facebook page, and online profile. IAC has more information about Open Adoption on their websites, www.AdoptionHelp.org and www.iHeartAdoption.org. IAC also has a toll-free number at 1.800.877.OPEN (6736) for anyone thinking about options in the event of an unplanned pregnancy. If anyone you know is facing the difficult decision of placing their baby for adoption, please share this information with them.